Deep feelings emerged

Did my 2nd session of coaching this morning. Still unable to focus since days ago (i think my brain short-circuited after the week of intense physical trainings). Forgot my mission on and off. Inexperience with the flow and distracted by a supposedly coach (uninvited) standing by always watching as if he's gonna bite!! -_-|||

Not very happy with my performance..but happy with their improvements. Think the kids need to build up confidence and commit themselves more for the competition in 6 months. Really hope to bring them up to the top four. And now, the work starts from training myself from within, to skills preparation and concentration-multitasking. I need to clear my barriers within, get pass it and impart to my students. How deep it is? As deep as resulting in NO confidence in myself, not just LOW confidence. Haha..and i realised my xin1 jie2 is still there, after so many years that i thought it doesnt really matter. Guess im being forced to face it once again..this time, not just for myself, but for the kids..i'll try my best. =)

~keep on climbing, never give up~

Trying to keep my body in top form but i feel shacked out both physically and mentally these days, trying to keep up with trainings and my own sports activities. Hahaa..now i feel happy when i have break from my trainings when i've got Jap classes!! Contradicting! xD

Today, the captain got to share his experience with the team regarding his last match. As he was saying, i was smiling and i saw how i grew. And i saw how HE grew and learnt through this. And i feel very moved that he's able to gain and learnt from his failure, especially at his age when one trys the hardest to prove himself. A sensible boy i must say. A demonstration of great sportsmanship. One who accepts failures and not afraid to expose this to his juniors. *clap clap* This boy will go far in life..^-^
And before i knew it, i felt a stinging sensation in my eyes...and i realised im struggling to keep the tears from falling in front of the team. Perhaps he had touched on something so delicate within. Young minds, great inspirations.

Though drained out physically and mentally and resulting in sore throat for the past 1 week..somehow, duno if its a result of it or not...i start to feel a sense of peace. And on and off, i drift in and out of my own world. I look at the greens on the bus, look at the deep blue sky from my window, feel the morning wind through my hair....and my mind is telling me: huo2 zhe4 zhen1 hao3 ^-^ I'm loving my life abit more today. =)