Bits and Pieces (II)
'Evolution'. I kinda like myself a little more these days. (haha..sounds a little zi4 lian4!) For being able to zi4 high, feel self-contented and talk a little more. Perhaps it's the state of mind i am in, it seems like im able to handle my emotions and state of mind better. =P 'zen and the universe' works....kee..
Perhaps the long hours of work nowadays brings back the chao4 piang3-ness in me to get my things done before any other tgs come in. It seems like with much practices, im able to switch between different modes while at work and off work. To work hard, and play even harder! However, this chao4 piang4-ness always comes hand in hand with pressure, impatience and the need for 'peace', ie. more personal space and quiet,non-chaotic environment. To enjoy peaceful moments without someone nagging/disturbing or yakking away non-stop...etc.
There is a growing desire for material. Growing wants for comfort, luxury and freedom. Start to have preferences for more comfy/'up' eating/chilling out place, good services, certain brands of sports clothing and even cars. With earning capabilities, the desire to travel further increases...aussie, new zealand, switzerland, france.....
A change in attitude to bo-chupness or refraining from thinking too much makes my life a little easier. Being more aware of certain behaviours but guess im too tired to bother too much about it. Let me be a little more selfish in certain aspects bah. Forgive me for protecting myself. Its a thin line between being independent and being selfish. Either i've learnt to be more independent or more selfish. lol. whatever.
Yet sometimes, when i feel all alone fighting the battles, i dun feel all alone. Angels and friends who are sincere are with you (not EVERY single time but at least they are there..). Esp when coincidentally one of my colleague stayed back and OT with me. I felt less tired..thanks..(u noe who u r!). Many a times, im still hit by certain tgs and emotions. Rather used to 'swollowing' tgs down...but always stays with me for some time. Learnt to swollow, and digest it on my own nowadays...as 'you are on your own' now... times has changed..mus learn to adapt.
Lol.. i still miss the good 'o' times alot alot alot. But only i can make myself happie for now. It's my responsiblity. I cannot control wat happen, but at least, i wun stop creating wonderful and happie times with my frens. I wun stop listening and sharing tgs going on in their lives, until the day they no longer share with me...
Perhaps the long hours of work nowadays brings back the chao4 piang3-ness in me to get my things done before any other tgs come in. It seems like with much practices, im able to switch between different modes while at work and off work. To work hard, and play even harder! However, this chao4 piang4-ness always comes hand in hand with pressure, impatience and the need for 'peace', ie. more personal space and quiet,non-chaotic environment. To enjoy peaceful moments without someone nagging/disturbing or yakking away non-stop...etc.
There is a growing desire for material. Growing wants for comfort, luxury and freedom. Start to have preferences for more comfy/'up' eating/chilling out place, good services, certain brands of sports clothing and even cars. With earning capabilities, the desire to travel further increases...aussie, new zealand, switzerland, france.....
A change in attitude to bo-chupness or refraining from thinking too much makes my life a little easier. Being more aware of certain behaviours but guess im too tired to bother too much about it. Let me be a little more selfish in certain aspects bah. Forgive me for protecting myself. Its a thin line between being independent and being selfish. Either i've learnt to be more independent or more selfish. lol. whatever.
Yet sometimes, when i feel all alone fighting the battles, i dun feel all alone. Angels and friends who are sincere are with you (not EVERY single time but at least they are there..). Esp when coincidentally one of my colleague stayed back and OT with me. I felt less tired..thanks..(u noe who u r!). Many a times, im still hit by certain tgs and emotions. Rather used to 'swollowing' tgs down...but always stays with me for some time. Learnt to swollow, and digest it on my own nowadays...as 'you are on your own' now... times has changed..mus learn to adapt.
Lol.. i still miss the good 'o' times alot alot alot. But only i can make myself happie for now. It's my responsiblity. I cannot control wat happen, but at least, i wun stop creating wonderful and happie times with my frens. I wun stop listening and sharing tgs going on in their lives, until the day they no longer share with me...
posted by dReamEr at
5/01/2007 07:44:00 PM
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