Splited thoughts

Been having mixture of thoughts recently that i thought i have multiple splits of personality. haha~

Dreamer's been seeking a right balance of thoughts and spiritual direction. Dealing with the self, the mind, the heart and the will. Doing and moving where an unexplained force is bringing me. Feeding my selfish desire of doing what i want to do or feel like doing instead of doing something that contirbutes to the common good. Not contributing to humanities nowadays.
Should pass it on. Pass on the good deeds received, pass on the good deeds heard and seen, pass on the good spirit much needed.
Was thinking of settling myself down before having the right to help others. Help yourself and others shalt be helped. Perhaps all of us should learn to help ourselves than be helped.

Dreamer's been feeling alittle more xing fu nowadays. From sincere offers, sms-es to keep in touch, occasionally exchange of short chats to friends accomodating my schedule and requests. =) Through them, i've learnt that friends dun calculate. And not just best friends, but friends. Sincere friends celebrate for one another, considerate towards one another, think and care for one another...etc. I've learnt to open up myself more. Learnt to believe, learnt to be strong...

Family, learnt to appreciate them more...but still not showing or spending more time with. Time never seems enough...hahaa...rebellious young woman..

Climbing, met new people. Had my first natural rock climbs in Singapore!! Wonderful experience...climbing with old birdies. Willing to teach us small kids..haha.. very encouraging i must say. Felt super stressed up and pressurised the first few times climbing with them..Afraid of doing it wrongly, afraid of being watched, afraid of trying, low self-confidence and belief, low will power, lack of strength and techniques, lack of contributions...
Slowly slowly, more comfy with them and learnt to open up. People are willing to help, willing to guide. Just need to open up more. Try try try. climb climb climb. Only ourselves can do it. Guess that little push from them encouraged me to keep trying, hence improving. Fear of trying..this fear hinders improvement. I'm learning to overcome this... =)
Dairy farm is damn cool!!! Just that without own equipment and using theirs doesnt seems right. Shall get my equipments soon...one by one...Would love to go there frequently... a place too nice to be miss..=P close to nature...*cool*

Personal. Been procrastinating for the past few years. Always give up halfway through if not dont even get started. Perhaps being on this alone makes the journey alittle lonely and makes the spirit easier to give up. And i am STILL procrastinating. haha..~ been trying to find kakis ard... Maybe i should stop this procrastination and just give it a shot. Perhaps i should just go have some fun and not apply pressure on myself for not performing well enough. Baby steps? hmm...
Suddenly heard this little voice in me, telling me to overcome my fears. To believe. To be strong.

Peace.

Where there's hatred, let me sow love;
where there's injury, pardon;
where there's doubt, faith;
where there's despair, hope;
where there's darkness, light;
where there's sadness, joy;

To be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
in dying to self that we are born to eternity;