The disappearED rainbow..

K..know i should be busy mugging away but i've been trying to ren3 all the thots and feelings i've since yday.Haa..cant keep it within me anymore!!Wana share it with anyone and my diary rainbow..=P *jumpjump*

*speechless* HEY!I really do feel speechless and kinda stunned.Haa..silly me. Know what, all these roller-coaster rides which i thot are just dreams, which i HOPE to reach(but kinda still suspend some doubts about it tho') are coming true! Of course, it's not about striking lottery!haha!!Oh well, if i do strike..wahahaa...(but i never buy-_-|||)

Firstly, the backpacking trip which i've always wanted but feel that it's abit infeasible 'coz of various reasons and restrictions(like $$,like-minded company,how strong that desire other peps share blah) started off giving me some little things to keep going. All in all, i admit i do still withheld some doubts about it whenever anyone said they're onz about it.You know, sometimes reality do crash your hopes..But it seems to me that we can work this out. With a shared common goal, we work towards it. I guess $ is the biggest issue for most of us. We have to come up with that sum..die die must come up with that!(oei,u better save save save!!)..haha..i'm still hopeful..heh..until the day we book the tix. =P lala..k, that's not the main point YET.

It is this trip.This very trip to a dream place i've just set as my dream/target to work on. Seen it on tv few weeks ago. Find it disgustingly lovely! Plain watching the 1 hr show sent adrenaline rush through my blood as i stared at the tv with envy and disbelief. "YES!LET'S GO!!" was what i said that moment. I know im utterly attracted by it.BUT again, its just an emotional high i allow myself to go through. 'Coz somehow deep down, i know things arent like this. It's not as simple as let's go and BOOM* we're there. There are too many let downs, intentionally or not. What one believes or says, most of the time doesnt match what one did. And yes, i'm still hopeful, of going there next year.Yup, just a little hopeful coz it seems like so far, and seems kinda impossible to me to really gather a group and go there, do that.

Planned to go batu..ok, this one i'm more or less confirm coz' it seems more reachable(comparatively)..heh...and i wouldnt be disappointed at all even if we're going batu. 'Coz i've learnt not to be hopeful about things after all these while. Everything that happens, anything that suggest something you desire, there's always a huge doubt(??) there. 'Coz i've chosen not to believe. Not to believe in what i've seen,heard or feel. 'Coz things dont work out that way in reality.

K, all that crap...until yesterday...suddenly, i'm actually surprised. Surprised by things happening around me. This dream wall...thaiwand wall, 123 wall(n whatever blah blah)..i'm meeting it soon!I CANT BELIEVE IT!! THIS, which i've just seen on tv..im meeting it!!and SOON!!WOW =0 ~ i still cant believe it, until im standing in front of it, right in front of it..wow.. Most imptly, it started giving me hopes, in general.

Suddenly, im 'awaken'. Those beliefs and 'power' of dreams that i've thrown away.. i feel like getting it back. I feel...weird. Just when i've lost hopes in life..just when im all overwhelmed by the harsh reality in life, by all the mismatch in what people believe/say and do...this one thing, kinda knock on my head.
Like an old friend, coming back to stay with me. Telling me that it knows what i'm going through. Telling me to start believing in it again. Reminding me of the kind of spirit i used to have, the kind of energy i used to possess, the kind of heart i used to believe and the kind of optimism i used to show..

I'm starting to see the rainbow amist the clouds. I'm starting to see it.. and all these...if not for you all..wouldnt have been the case..(k, maybe u all r wondering why do i have to feel n think so much when it's just a trip)..haha..you might not understand, but its ok. It might just be a vacation or relax getaway for some of you, but to me, it actually means alot...haa..im starting to have a religion..and the religion is climbing...It's finding me back...and im really grateful. CLIMB ON!!! =D

I'm starting to believe once again, that when we come together and work towards the common dream, dreams WILL come true. To DI: Yes, nothing is impossible as long as we work towards it together. With joint efforts, i believe dreams will become a reality. Hope you'll start believing in this too.. ;)