About l.o.v.e.
If love is a problem, you can never find the right solution.
What is love? Is it an urge to see that special someone? Is it someone you think about all the time? Is it someone you wish to spend your life with? Is it a shelter where you go for comfort? Is it someone you truly care about? Is it someone who gives you strength? Is it someone who makes you a better person? Is it someone whom you would go the extra mile?Or is it someone who can make you feel the extremes in emotions?
-Conditional vs Unconditional love-
Conditional love is loving, taking into consideration how much you will receive in return. You love him/her because he/she is nice to you. You love him/her 'cause you know, he/she will never attempt to make you sad. You love him/her 'cause you know, he/she will always be there for you. You love him/her 'cause.....
Unconditional love is loving, knowing that you might probably receive none in return. Loving, knowing that you'll get hurt someday. Loving, knowing that he/she may/may not be there for you. Loving, despite the fight a second ago.....
Some called it being loved and loving someone. It's a personal choice, and not all cases end up in tragedy. Sometimes, conditional love developed into unconditional love with time. Similarly, unconditional love turned into a conditional one (more often than not) with time.
-Expectations and measurements-
I will be lying if i say there are no expectations in r/ships. What more, for people who have met more than just one special someone in their life. There seems to have this invisible checklist. Oh, he did this too!Good. Oh, what a pity! If only he is half as sensitive as him....Guess its a test of management of expectations on both sides. How to keep that expectation in check.
If only love can be measured, i guess love wouldnt post so much troubles/problem for people. Just get a measuring scale. If your love = his love, then end mixture = happily ever after. If not =, then sorry, you are not the one. How to measure something so intangible?
-Part vs Whole-
Love (or more specifically r/ships between couples) are just part of life. Of coz, it can be everything your life is made up of. But keeping that in mind, can one really control it from affecting your life too much? Yes and No. We know we will NOT die if we're without that special someone. We know this is just part of life, just like work is. We know we shouldnt let any of these small parts spoil our life. But how many can do that with ease? The heart has a mind of its own.
-Self vs Other-
It's not about you,you and you only nemorez. It's about him/her and we. Human tends to be innately selfish to start with. How to manage this me-me-me thingy and make it a we-we-we thingy. This is especially difficult when one got so used to leading his/her own life for some time, and what more, am happy with his/her life the way it is. Why do i need to change? Why do i need to do this? Why do i have to compromise? WHY?
-Differences-
Managing differences. How to effectively and rationally handle disputes and differences? It's a challenge yet something that is unavoidable in all r/ships. Apparently, leaving isnt a solution.
So does that mean having someone who is most similar to you = minimal disputes? and someone different from you = loads of disputes? Yes and No. Guess its a matter of how both sides compromise or complement each other.
-Needs and Wants-
Knowing what you need in a r/ship would probably give you an easier route thru your path. At the same time, identifying what would be nice to have - wants, would minimise all the circles that you'll go through before figuring out a general direction. I have met several people in my life, each teaching me different lessons of love and also, a better understanding of the person i am. For some time, i thought i've finally figured out what i need, what i want...apparently like i said, there is no solution.
________________________________________________What is love? Is it an urge to see that special someone? Is it someone you think about all the time? Is it someone you wish to spend your life with? Is it a shelter where you go for comfort? Is it someone you truly care about? Is it someone who gives you strength? Is it someone who makes you a better person? Is it someone whom you would go the extra mile?Or is it someone who can make you feel the extremes in emotions?
-Conditional vs Unconditional love-
Conditional love is loving, taking into consideration how much you will receive in return. You love him/her because he/she is nice to you. You love him/her 'cause you know, he/she will never attempt to make you sad. You love him/her 'cause you know, he/she will always be there for you. You love him/her 'cause.....
Unconditional love is loving, knowing that you might probably receive none in return. Loving, knowing that you'll get hurt someday. Loving, knowing that he/she may/may not be there for you. Loving, despite the fight a second ago.....
Some called it being loved and loving someone. It's a personal choice, and not all cases end up in tragedy. Sometimes, conditional love developed into unconditional love with time. Similarly, unconditional love turned into a conditional one (more often than not) with time.
-Expectations and measurements-
I will be lying if i say there are no expectations in r/ships. What more, for people who have met more than just one special someone in their life. There seems to have this invisible checklist. Oh, he did this too!Good. Oh, what a pity! If only he is half as sensitive as him....Guess its a test of management of expectations on both sides. How to keep that expectation in check.
If only love can be measured, i guess love wouldnt post so much troubles/problem for people. Just get a measuring scale. If your love = his love, then end mixture = happily ever after. If not =, then sorry, you are not the one. How to measure something so intangible?
-Part vs Whole-
Love (or more specifically r/ships between couples) are just part of life. Of coz, it can be everything your life is made up of. But keeping that in mind, can one really control it from affecting your life too much? Yes and No. We know we will NOT die if we're without that special someone. We know this is just part of life, just like work is. We know we shouldnt let any of these small parts spoil our life. But how many can do that with ease? The heart has a mind of its own.
-Self vs Other-
It's not about you,you and you only nemorez. It's about him/her and we. Human tends to be innately selfish to start with. How to manage this me-me-me thingy and make it a we-we-we thingy. This is especially difficult when one got so used to leading his/her own life for some time, and what more, am happy with his/her life the way it is. Why do i need to change? Why do i need to do this? Why do i have to compromise? WHY?
-Differences-
Managing differences. How to effectively and rationally handle disputes and differences? It's a challenge yet something that is unavoidable in all r/ships. Apparently, leaving isnt a solution.
So does that mean having someone who is most similar to you = minimal disputes? and someone different from you = loads of disputes? Yes and No. Guess its a matter of how both sides compromise or complement each other.
-Needs and Wants-
Knowing what you need in a r/ship would probably give you an easier route thru your path. At the same time, identifying what would be nice to have - wants, would minimise all the circles that you'll go through before figuring out a general direction. I have met several people in my life, each teaching me different lessons of love and also, a better understanding of the person i am. For some time, i thought i've finally figured out what i need, what i want...apparently like i said, there is no solution.
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
Way back into Love - 曲/詞：Adam Schlesinger｜唱：品冠+梁靜茹
posted by dReamEr at
2/04/2008 10:21:00 PM
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