what a life

Been going through rough patches at work. Find myself flaring up more and more oftenly nowadays. Part of me that i do not like. Effective management of emotions at work. After cooling down and having some rest on sunday afternn, felt much better. Guess many of us are like working like crazy nowadays...some of my colleagues from other teams working 20hrs shift full day in the base or on ship itself. I think i shld b considered fortunate enough alrdy......

The experience and from talking to pple when u r like 'stuck' under the ground where you are isolated from the whole world and being totally uncontactable even within the grounds trains you on 'survival' skills. its like...you are TOTALLY on your own..you lost you die your problem that kinda thing. And when things went wrong, you're the first in line to be executed and fingers point to. Cool arh? and then, realised so many things are gg on ard me that im ignorant or unaware of, probably too absorb in my work and personal space. To the extent of hanging up calls and being too tired to meet up with other colleagues.
Being on the same sinking ship as 2 other experts, managed to chatup on things outside work thru my last wk. Realised many pple are living life not the way they wanted it to be. And i thought they actually like what they are doing...life, work, commitment, responsiblities and the art of politics....Being sm1 who fails to appreciate the art, and choosing to be ignorant and couldnt care less the political battle and intentions that is surrounding me seems to start taking its toll on me. Guess its time for dreamer to wakeup and accept that life is like that. No, dreamer is not a fool to think that the world is the ideal and beautiful place in her dreams, just not acknowledging the truth and still believes in her ideals...until now...guess it's time to let the ideals go..

Life, seem to paint a darker and darker picture. Hopes doesnt seem practical nemorez. Dreams are forgotten. Passion killed by reality. Does wishes ever come true?
Aspirations, interests and personal state no longer easy to keep up with...responsiblities grew and its no longer just about urself and what you like to do anymorez.

Tolerance level for pple also drops greatly. Couldnt stand pple who behave as if they shld be served. Seeing more and more of such pple...realli buay tahan!!! Feel like slapping their faces and ask them to wake up their idea! "wah...no more liao how arh?" <- wah lao! come on lah!! Cant you just fill it up so that you can have it and also for the next person who needs it!? how arh? how ur head la!! I have no patience for such pple sia...doesnt make sense loh. If you need smtg, how arh? Use your brain lah!! Somemore such basic tgs lah.... -_-# kaoz.... smtimes i wonder if im a ger loh...dun understand y gers are like that nowadays.....SERIOUSLY!! Even i myself cldnt stand them!! ARH!

People-people r/ships are complicated and strange. Cant it remain as simple as it used to be?
Find myself more and more weary of all these part and parcel of life. Shld this really be the way to go? How can i ever step out of all these? Guess it's time to set a time frame to step out of comfort zone and ren4 ming4 zone........

The only things that get my laughing for the past week - Having my 1st virgin tryout with Wii sports (esp the boxing game!) and my 1st experience driving a car. FUN!

What makes me happie then? hmmm...interesting question. LoL. Havent fd the answer yet...i'll let you noe when i noe..LOL.