Bits and pieces

when complexity of inferiority sets in
and lessons from past memories worrys
tiredness and hesitation add on to a supposedly free soul
should i leave or let things flow?
answers to seek on a path that only i myself walk

im not one who love and embrace changes that much.
im happy with the way my life is
enjoying time with frens and family and having fun
doing wat i want when i feel like it
going with my mood and enjoying it further with like-minded frens
shiok is the word..like a bird...i dictate which way i go and how fast to go
life's cycle makes me weary. no wish of going through the cycle once again..

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On a rocky note, finally completed the 1-star kayak course today. LoL. Its was fun actually (tho it really lose out to windsurfing big time! but it is still fun!). Enjoyed it more than i tot i would. Became lobster today. been such a long time since i became lobster...lol! but contrary to the past, i wouldnt wan myself to be too tan n chao dah!! very bad for the skin de!! agua... -_-!!!
guess kayaking with frens is realli fun. hahah...the company really matters lo. Wouldnt wanna kayak on my own.. but lobster A still cant help feeling paranoid looking at the open sea..lol..still prefer to 'hang' on the kayak (during rescue) than the sea....lol..v bad.

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Someone asked me today what is it that i really really would like to do if not restricted by anything....
i realised after 1+ year of working life, i have NO answer to this question at all. =(
I used to have very very strong passion in certain areas of my life that i feel is my life's 'missions' and which i 90% forgotten wat are they already......guess the lessons of life destroyed my dreams/passions and so called future. Sad isnt it? I finally understand fully the big change in me after like 6+ months or more after some1 who has a great impact on my life told me abt this change. Perhaps that's y im just like counting my days....i no longer living my life with 'fire', with passion anymore..and dream-building is taking the backseat already... its sad. Really. Lost it.
Lost the burning fire and the meaning of living. Lost my sense of purpose. No more callings. I cant hear any. Lost the missions. No more missions for me.

Im happy for everyday that i 'earned' to create precious moment with frens and family. That seem to be the only reason im living and living for....sighz. So tired of the life cycle.